✨ From Surviving to Becoming
There was a time in my life where I wasn’t thinking about becoming—I was just trying to survive. At 19, I found out I was pregnant. By 20, I was a mother to a premature baby, navigating emotions I didn’t fully understand at the time. That was also when I experienced depression for the first time—although back then, I wouldn’t have called it that. I just knew something didn’t feel right, and I didn’t have the language for it yet.
Life moved quickly after that. I got married, trying to build what I thought was supposed to be the “right” life—but that chapter came with its own challenges, including navigating a relationship affected by addiction. What followed was a cycle of separation, reconciliation, and ultimately a painful divorce that turned into a two-year legal battle.
Somewhere in the middle of all of that, I found myself back in a familiar place—depression. This time, it felt heavier. I lost my job, took on temporary work, and felt completely lost. I had this image in my mind of what my life was “supposed” to look like—a home, a partner, stability—and suddenly, none of it was there.
It felt like I was starting from less than zero.
And if I’m being honest, there were moments where I thought, how did I end up here?
🌿 The Shift: Finding Hope Through Understanding
Somewhere in that space of feeling stuck, I started doing something small—but it changed everything.
I began reading.
Psychology articles, personal stories, anything I could get my hands on that helped me make sense of what I was feeling. At the time, I don’t even know if I called them “blogs,” but I know they helped me feel less alone.
And slowly, something shifted.
“I was surviving for so long, I didn’t realize I was already becoming.”
For someone who grew up learning to suppress emotions (something I later understood as part of generational patterns—another conversation for another day), this was new. Reflecting, understanding, feeling—none of that came naturally to me.
And ironically, psychology had never even been part of my plan.
I was supposed to be a lawyer. A criminal defense attorney. Something intense, fast-paced—maybe even a little aggressive if I’m being honest.
Looking back now… I can confidently say my nervous system would not have survived that career.
✨ Rebuilding: Starting Over After Loss
Eventually, I secured a stable job—one that paid more than anything I had before. For the first time in a while, I felt some sense of grounding. Enough to consider going back to school.
Now let me be very clear: I do not like school. I don’t enjoy studying. I truly didn’t think this was going to be my path.
But I did it anyway.
Working full-time, I enrolled part-time and completed my AA in Psychology. And when I graduated, I remember thinking—I actually did this. That moment meant more to me than I can fully explain.
And somehow… I kept going.
I went on to pursue my Bachelor’s degree, and during that time, COVID happened. While the world slowed down, I stayed focused. Virtual classes became the new normal—and I graduated again. This time with a BA in Psychology… and a high GPA.
A high GPA.
If you knew me back then, you’d understand why that still surprises me.
🧠 Taking the Leap
Then came the next step—graduate school.
I applied to FIU, and I was convinced I wouldn’t get in. I was already preparing myself for the rejection email. You know the one—“thank you for your interest…”
Instead, I got accepted.
And I genuinely didn’t see that coming.
If you’re reading this thinking, why didn’t you believe in yourself more?—I get it.
But when you’ve spent years in survival mode, it’s not uncommon to expect things not to work out. I was used to waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn’t trust stability. I didn’t trust outcomes. And if I’m being honest, parts of that still show up today.
💛 The Human Side of Healing
And since we’re being honest—yes, I’m in therapy.
I fully believe in it. I also fully live it.
I practice what I share, but I am also human. I have patterns I’m aware of that I haven’t fully worked through—not because it’s not possible, but because I’m not always ready to face them head-on.
Surprising? Maybe.
But that’s the reality of being human.
(My therapist would agree—and no, she doesn’t force me to change anything. She lets me lead… and gently challenges me when I’m ready. We love that for me.)
🌱 Becoming
Today, I can say this with honesty:
I was surviving for a long time.
And somewhere along the way, I began becoming.
Becoming someone I can be proud of.
Someone my father would be proud of.
And someone my son can one day look at and know—
That no matter how difficult life feels, it is always possible to grow, rebuild, and create something different.
🌿 Reflection
If you’re in a season where it feels like you’re just trying to get through the day, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
Survival doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re still here, still trying, even when things feel heavy or uncertain. And sometimes, that’s more than enough.
Becoming doesn’t happen all at once. It happens in small, quiet moments—in the decisions to keep going, to try again, to believe that something different is possible even when you can’t fully see it yet.
Wherever you are in your journey, give yourself credit for how far you’ve come—even if it doesn’t feel like enough right now.
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